Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Life on a Lease

Yet another poor excuse for a poem...
Life on a Lease

Most days, life eludes me,
no matter what, I just can't seem to be
in a place that makes sense to me.
Still- I'm young, they say
don't they know
that I'm getting older each day.
And that life is no guarantee;
death waits for no one, you see.

This dream
like a thread in a seam
is slowly coming undone.
Yet, I can't run.
I can't run 
for I must stay away...
from you,
for ten thousand days- 
at least.
Go east! She says.  
How can I? 

So here I am working in this shop
selling toy dino's and coloured rocks. 
She mocks...
...I've done quite a lot?

ten jobs,
nine courses,
eight epiphanies,
seven cities,
six colleges,
five exhibitions,
four countries,
three books,
two souls,
and this-
eternal struggle
to withdraw myself, from myself.

See in these long and lonely years
I've conquered so many of my fears.
Yet so many remain

-the same.  

I've travelled a bit
and like a bird I've flit
from place to place
in somewhat of a daze.
I've walked with the pilgrims
and the peacekeepers.
I've met many angels
and a few grim reapers.

But I'm weary now
So weary now. 
I'm weary of always moving
I'm weary of forever moving
back and forth
from here to there
from crowd to crowd
from place to place
always with this smile
on my face.

See I've searched inside my soul
But there's this hole
and it won't go way.
Sometimes it's so hard
to keep these feelings at bay.

I never know what I'll get,
with this dice I roll.
Now I have this odd job,
then I was on the dole-
for a week.
I seek. 
Yet still I seek.
A cause, a life, a love, a dream.


A dream made true. 
Maybe a few.... 
Yet what I really seek
is this-
Purpose. Meaning. Peace.

For this short life
is on a lease...