Sunday 18 May 2014

patterns in the void

lately life has been a blur, (more than usual, if that's possible) - the amount of people I've seen, the number of places I've been, the stories I've heard and conversations I've shared in the last few weeks has been... out of this world. I've been working a lot and travelling all over, from mornings to midnights I've been on the road, caught in storms, soaked by the rain, struck by lightning, deafened by thunder, burned by the sun and blown by the wind- yet.... I'm still standing. In fact I'm standing strong, stronger than I have in a long time. Lately I've been feeling a lot more focused. It's hard to explain... I've always felt most rooted, when I'm most diffused... when I'm doing, when I'm on the road, focusing on different projects, working hard- that's when things are good. Things are good and I'm okay when life moves at a pace that I can't keep up with... lately my brain has been going hay wire with all these ideas, these great big fantastical ideas and sometimes I think...I'm getting closer... to getting closer... to getting there... and that's good. That feeling is so good, of knowing that you possess the capabilities of making your dreams come true and I have so many dreams and lately I've been thinking about them- I have dreams of writing best sellers and travelling the world, and making a real difference and becoming the person that I really want to be... 

It's funny, I always seem to do things backwards in life. My bucket lists for example, I tick off things that I've done before even thinking of them- exhibiting photography, getting published, travelling... slowly it seems to all be unravelling, this dream of a life, this life of dreams- miracles, magic, beauty and wonderment--- for there exists so much wonderment! 

And I've also decided to really focus (amongst other things) on this guidebook and strangely enough, since re-committing to this project I've almost un-intentionally ended up discovering and re-discovering a whole load of incredible new places in London. In the last two weeks I've been to and wandered through- Clissold Park, West Reservoir, Horsenden Hill, Northola, Bishopsgate Institute, St Augustines, Bishops Park, Harrow on the Hill, Lesnes Abbey and Woods, Burgess Park, Camden, Primrose Hill, Wembly Park, Welsh Harp reservoir, Abney Park Cemetary and the Tibetan peace garden. There is just so much more to London, than I think I could ever grasp and that is beautiful! Everytime I feel like I've seen just everything London has to offer, I'll stumble into or across the most awe inspiring places ever. I hope, I just hope, I can really absorb all these places, the encounters of the people I cross paths with in these places... see I don't want to cross things off on a long list, that's not the point of it- this project, no, it's about just witnessing and existing and learning... it's about life... I guess....it's about living...