Friday, 15 March 2013

Dino Shop Outreach Programme

Madness ensues when four teenagers from Souf London take over the Dino Shop for a day....

...Dwayne strolls in from his break ten minutes late...

Angelo: Blad what time d'you call dis?
Dwayne: Ahh it ain't ma fault man! Trina got talking to me and she wouldn't shut up. The girl is fine, but boy can she chat!
Angelo: Who da feck is Trina?
Dwayne: You know dat skinny latino girl, short hair, she's one of dem visitor service assistants...
Angelo: Whatever man, I'm goin' to da mess room, you know dey got a tv down there? Them security guards were watching fresh prince this morning...
Dwayne: Serious?
Angelo: Yeah fam. allow it, soon as I'm done wiv college, ima get me a security guard job, get paid for doin' nuttink!
Mikaela finishes serving a customer and turns to the boys. 
Mikaela: Are you guys done chattin' crap yet? I swear down ima tell management of you.
Dwayne: Ooooh no, not management!!
Dwayne feigns a look of horror. 
Angelo: Yo i'm out. 
Angelo leaves the shop
Mikeala: Dwayne, now that your finally back go help Jerome in da stockroom, he be doin' actual work unlike you wasteman...
Dwayne: hmm I see about dat
A group of school kids walk in. Dwayne goes into the stock room. Jerome is sleeping in a box. Dwayne grabs a pincher and pinches Jerome's nose with it,  an electronic roar is omitted. Jerome lunges up.
Jerome: Whhhat....! Where am I? What's goin' on? I didn't do nuffink!!!! 
Dwayne: You bum! Get up. All dem school kids just came in da shop, lets get out there before Mikeala starts moaning at us again...
Dwayne and Jerome join Mikeala behind the till. A small boy comes up to Dwayne.
Boy: How much is this?
He holds up a notebook
Dwayne: Free pounds
Boy comes up again
Boy: How much is this?
He holds up a chocolate bar. Dwayne speaks through gritted teeth
Dwayne: Two pounds
Boy comes up to Dwayne for a third time.
Boy: How much is this?
Dwayne: Bruv are you blind? It's on da back, don't ask me nothing! Swear down, this kid's driving me mad!
Boy walks away evidently terrified. A woman, shocked, approaches Dwayne.
Woman: I can't believe you just spoke to my student like that. I demand to see your manager.
Dwayne: My manager? Ha! You're looking at him, whaaat?
The lady starts to speak, but then turns away fuming.
Dwayne: Yeah, that's right, keep walkin'
Mikeala: Oi Dwayne, cool it you dipstick! You gonna get us all in trouble.
Jerome comes up from behind. 
Jerome: I'm about to go t-rex on dis place!
Dwayne: What happened?
Jerome: Some Chinese man be talking shit to me, and pointing this dino in my face. I don't know what he be sayin.' Swear down dese foreigners need to learn some english before dey get up in my face!
Jerome then goes back to his till to serve a customer. He scans a cup. 
Jerome: That'll be five pounds please ma'am
Customer: Can I have a bag please?
Jerome: Yes you may
He hands her the bag. She looks at him and puts the cup in the bag and walks away. The shop quietens. Jerome leaves the till and walks slowly around the shop in circles inspecting the damage as he goes. 
Jerome: Dis shop is in a worse state den da bin room at da estate. There ain't no way in hell I'm cleaning up. 
From behind the till Dwayne appears. 
Dwayne: I'm going toilet
Jerome picks up a bouncy ball and throws it at Dwayne's head. 
Jerome: You ain't going nowhere blad
Dwayne grabs a flask and flings it in Jerome's direction. Jerome dodges it.
Jerome: HAHA you throw like a girl!! 
Mikeala: Are you guys duuumb? That's it, I'm gone' tell security!
Dwayne: You best watch yourself. I'm gonna get you when I come back...
Jerome: Yeah, yeah 
Dwayne exits the shop. A customer appears. Mikaela turns to him and scans the items before placing them in a bag, meanwhile the customer shoves money in her face.
Mikeala: Can you not see I'm doing somefing? I only got two hands you know. Some people! 
She kisses her teeth. Customer looks embarrassed, she gives him the change and he walks away..... be continued.... (maybe)